What's wrong with timeouts? Are timeouts hurting our children?
- Cause children to see themselves as bad.
- Does not help children learn about self-regulation.
- Creates unwarranted fear in the child.
- Forces children to go underground with (or hide) their behavior to avoid getting caught.
- Fuels continued misbehavior.
- Leaves children alone at a time when they most need support.
Parents and families always struggle with discipline strategies. We need alternatives to timeout and other corporal punishment as discipline techniques.
Old Paradigm - misbehaving child = bad child = bad parenting
New Paradigm - misbehaving child = discouraged child = partnering with parents
What is a parent supposed to do in the moment?
- When you feel you're losing it, give yourself a time-out. This is positive behavior-modeling for your child.
- When you see your child losing it, redirect your child's behavior.
- Be proactive: if you continually feel challenged by your child, offer appropriate choices, such as chores and/or meaningful experiences. This will give your child appropriate power.
- Be prepared to demonstrate unconditional love. Find ways to give your child a sense of belonging.
Three things children need:
A sense of belonging
A sense of being loved
A sense of appropriate power
Post by Steve Zwolak