“I’ll make you do it, or else.” As parents, most of us have probably said something similar to our children. Maybe more so during the summer months when the days grow longer and our fuse grows shorter due to a more hectic and less predictable routine, hotter temperatures and the other distractions that summer and warmer weather can bring.
"You'll pick up your toys, or else. You'll eat your dinner, or else you can't have dessert. You go to sleep now, or else." The 'You do this, or else' statements seem to go on and on. But why? Why do parents create a confrontation with their children through 'You'll do this, or else' statements rather than inspiring collaboration with their children by using 'I am listening to you' statements?"
Discipline is a family matter. For a parent, understanding yourself better will lead to a better understanding of your children. Discipline is a two-way encounter that affects everyone. Let’s start with checking in with possible feelings as a parent that has a detrimental effect on your children. Being annoyed, provoked, and mad or having a feeling of despair often determine what you may say to your child, or, how you may discipline your child. Your feelings are often triggers that dictate how your children respond.
The good news? There are time-tested, effective corrective measures that parents can use. Childhood is changing but child development is not. If you’re interested in decoding emotional needs of your children and responding most appropriately, click here to enroll in a helpful course that will help you with your discipline skills and result in raising responsible children.